The best choice to be the next James Bond? A total nobody

Who should be the next James Bond is always a tough question, but never more so than right now. Murmurs got loud after Daniel Craig donned the tuxedo for the final time in 2021’s “No Time To Die.” However, speculation has been deafening in the weeks since the franchise’s longtime producers, the Broccoli family, ceded creative control to SPECTRE, sorry, Amazon — perhaps out of fear that their decision-making will not be so prime. Jeff Bezos even tweeted, “Who’d you pick as the next James Bond?”

Overeager Jeff sounds like he’s asking us to leave a review on Amazon. Fans have been shouting that Idris Elba should be Bond for what feels like 30 years. He’s 52 now, so that dream has been 00-86’d. And today, there’s a wrongheaded online push for former “Superman” Henry Cavill to take on the role of the MI6 agent with a license to kill. Bad idea. Clark Kent is too recognizable, glasses or no. And did you see “Argylle”? For your health and sanity, I hope not.

My gut tells me that the ultimate 007 actor should not be very famous at all. Not yet, anyway. It’s best if he’s not a household name until the very day the Bond producers reveal him. That means no Supermen, no Spider-Men (Andrew Garfield), no huge action movie heroes and no obvious A-listers. Why? Because it’s vital for our escapism that the man disappear completely into the iconic role. Playing Bond is like joining the Men in Black — you surrender your whole identity. Much to Daniel Craig’s chagrin!

Proving my point, the six splendid actors who’ve played the super-spy so far have come from smaller or prestige films, TV, and relative obscurity. And now they’re only known for one thing — and that thing enjoys vodka martinis. Sean Connery had only appeared in a few modest movies such as “Darby O’Gill and the Little People.” Roger Moore was Simon Templar on TV’s “The Saint.” Pierce Brosnan starred on “Remington Steele,” and Timothy Dalton acted in period pieces and one of the worst pictures ever made: “Sextette” with Mae West. Weirdest of all, George Lazenby, was a model with no performance experience. It’s safe to say that Craig’s pre-007 flicks such as “Road to Perdition” and “Shakespeare in Love” don’t have too much overlap with the international Bond fandom. That’s the way it ought to be.

My other criteria? I’d prefer Bond to be British, but he’s been played terrifically by an Irishman (Brosnan) and perfectly fine by an Aussie (Lazenby). Americans, seek employment elsewhere. My only other rule is that the choice be no older than his early 40s. Bonds have started out rather long in the tooth (Brosnan was 48), but it makes the most sense for the series to return to the youthful vigor of a 32-year-old Connery in “Dr. No.” A favorite candidate of mine is 40-year-old Theo James. As the jerk boyfriend on Season 2 of “The White Lotus,” the Brit was both dangerous and smooth — Connery-esque, actually — and looked every bit the part cavorting around a luxury hotel. Yes, he starred in the “Divergent” film series a decade ago, but nobody remembers that. Craig, meanwhile, is said to be privately rooting for 34-year-old British actor Josh O’Connor, who played then-Prince Charles on Netflix’s “The Crown” for two seasons, and made a splash as a down-and-out tennis player in last year’s “Challengers.” He’s a strange-but-fun thought. For one, O’Connor looks as if he’s been ripped right out of the 1960s. But he also has a natural quirkiness that’s been missing from the series since Dalton handed in his Walther PPK in 1989. He’s much more intriguing than the average boring brute who runs around in formalwear. Another possibility is Lucien Laviscount, the 32-year-old Englishman who’s best known for his role as the macho love interest on “Emily in Paris.” Besides his frighteningly symmetrical bone structure, he’d bring back the humor and delight that made Moore and Brosnan so popular. Laviscount is the hard-to-achieve mix of scary and charismatic. Scharismatic? All three actors represent contrasting types and very different directions for the storied series. But what would be most satisfying is if an eagle-eyed director or producer plucked a total unknown from a West End play or an open casting call, and introduced him to the world. The return of James Bond, after all this messy corporate upheaval, needs to be a massive, feel-good, international event in order to stay relevant. Not just a 26th movie with a sexy beach scene. Minting a brand new star is the best way to do that.