My friends say I should only date men of my race

DEAR ABBY: Being a 22-year-old gay man, I have tried dating apps with no luck. One guy I encountered was 10 years my senior, ex-military (Air Force), and overly clingy in our initial texts. He professed his love for me and talked about a future together within hours. The other guys I chatted with lacked the effort to keep a conversation going. I’m unsure of what to do. Some co-workers and friends suggested I focus only on men of my own race, but I believe that compatibility goes beyond race. I value qualities that make someone enjoyable to be around, such as their interests, career ambitions, kitchen skills, and tidiness. I’m not into the party scene, drinking, or casual sex. I long to find a meaningful connection, but the LGBTQ community is limited where I currently reside in North Carolina. I fear I may remain single longer than I hope for. While I concentrate on my studies and career, having a special someone would be a welcomed addition. Any advice? — STRUGGLING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STRUGGLING: Ensure you are using dating apps focused on relationships rather than hookups. Seek out platforms that align with your intentions. Consider visiting the nearest major city and engaging with the LGBTQ community center to meet like-minded individuals. While I can’t promise you’ll find love, you may forge lasting friendships there.

DEAR ABBY: For the past 15 years, I have provided care for my elderly mother in my home. I have four brothers who reside out of state. Witnessing Mom’s aging and the challenges that come with it has become increasingly emotionally taxing. My brothers seldom call or visit, despite my reminders about the importance of staying in touch with Mom. They only visit once or twice a year, despite living five hours away. In three months, I plan to retire early and relocate to their state to facilitate more frequent visits for Mom to see them, her grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. How can I overcome my resentment towards them for not stepping up? I have sacrificed willingly for Mom, but I had hoped for more from my siblings. — FRUSTRATED SIBLING IN MISSOURI

DEAR SIBLING: It’s possible that your brothers have obligations in their lives, such as spouses, children, and jobs, that prevent them from being as present in your mother’s life as you are. Try to quell your anger. Your impending move may encourage them, along with their families, to spend more time with your mother. However, before making the relocation, have a thorough discussion with your siblings to ensure that your expectations align with their intentions.

Dear Abby is penned by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was established by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.