I Was the Kite and My Father Was the Ball of String

As a freshman in high school at the age of fourteen, I received an invitation from a senior named Danny to attend his prom. Danny was considered one of the “cool” kids at Norwalk High; he drove to school (in a Camaro!), smoked in the courtyard, and skipped classes whenever he pleased. On the other hand, I was far from cool – riding the bus, never having smoked, and always dutifully attending every class. I saw Danny as my gateway to coolness.

However, my parents did not share my enthusiasm. They adamantly refused to let me go to the prom with Danny, which led to a dramatic outburst on my part. I protested, feeling a sense of outrage and injustice, accusing them of not letting me grow up and pleading for just one chance. In a fit of frustration, I even wrote a three-page letter expressing my indignation, which my mother kept in her sock drawer and my sister amusingly read aloud years later during a family gathering.

I huffed, puffed, and rolled my eyes at a questionable decision my parents made

In my frustration, I resorted to huffing, eye-rolling, slamming doors, and stomping feet to show my displeasure towards my parents and even inadvertently towards my younger siblings. Eventually, after calming down, my Dad approached me with a gentle demeanor. Despite the conflict, my Dad’s loving nature softened my anger towards him; I held immense adoration for him.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, my Dad expressed his love for me and reassured me that he and Mom were doing their best as parents. He explained the complexities of parenting, likening it to holding a kite and string. He told me that I was not a bird to be set free but a kite, with him holding the string and gradually letting it out over time.

My father often pulled on my kite string

Since that heartfelt moment on my bed, my Dad’s gentle guidance through tugs on my kite string has been a constant presence in my life. In various stages – college, early career, motherhood – his subtle nudges have always been there to guide me.

Reflecting on my own parenting journey with four children, I realized the delicate balance of holding on too tightly or letting go too much. I understood the essence of the push-pull dynamic of parenthood, learning from both my experiences and my father’s wisdom.

I followed my dad’s lead and adjusted my hold on my children’s kites

Following my Dad’s example, I shared the “kite and string” story with my own children as they grew into young adults. They have come to appreciate and welcome my guidance, just as I did with my Dad.

In 2014, I turned Dad’s words into a song and performed it for him on his 80th birthday. Later, I recorded the song with my children in a studio, inspired by a friend’s suggestion to share it with a wider audience. The song became a tribute to my father’s wisdom.

Last year, as Dad passed away, I sang “Kite and String” at his bedside, surrounded by family. The moment symbolized the passing of the kite strings as we gently let him go.

I honored my dad by getting my song out there

In memory of my father, I took the step to share the song “Kite and String” on major streaming platforms. It serves as a tribute to the cherished bond between fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, encouraging families to hold onto each other with love and care.

You can listen to “Kite and String” on Spotify and Apple Music

More Great Reading:

Soaring At The End Of The String: This Dad Lets Go