I blocked my overbearing sister and she went to my in-laws

DEAR ABBY: Throughout my life, my sister has been a source of bullying and control. She has made hurtful remarks, and I have decided that I need distance and peace from her. As a result, I have blocked her from contacting me via text or phone calls.

The issue I’m facing is that my sister continues to reach out to my in-laws, sending them texts, pictures, and gifts. I find this behavior inappropriate, as she has her own in-laws to build relationships with. It seems to me that she is trying to maintain relevance in my life and show my in-laws that she is a nice person.

While I understand that she is free to have relationships with whomever she chooses, I feel that she is crossing boundaries. I feel suffocated and unable to have a life outside of her presence. My husband’s family are MY in-laws, not hers. Are my feelings unreasonable? — SMOTHERED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SMOTHERED: Your in-laws have the right to maintain relationships with anyone they choose. You cannot dictate who they communicate with, especially if they enjoy the interactions. While you may feel that your sister has no place in their lives, if they don’t agree, there’s not much you can do.

Your feelings are valid, considering your sister’s past behavior towards you. However, it’s important to not let her occupy more mental space than she already does. If needed, speak to a therapist to help you stop obsessing over her. The issue lies not with her, but with how you respond to her.

DEAR ABBY: During my childhood, my closest friend was a girl. We had a strong platonic bond and communicated primarily through letters. We exchanged hundreds of letters and emails before drifting apart in college.

After a decade, we reconnected and resumed our correspondence. I am eager to continue writing to my friend, but we are both now married, and I want to be respectful of our spouses.

Is there a proper way to revive our letter-writing tradition while being mindful of our marital commitments? Our letters are respectful and cover a range of topics that interest us. — CAUTIOUS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Letter-writing is a lost art, and it’s wonderful that you want to revive it with your friend. As long as both you and your friend’s spouses are aware of the correspondence and don’t object, there should be no issue. Keeping these letters is a valuable way to document your thoughts and experiences as you both mature.

Continuing to exchange letters is a positive way to stay connected. Many people cherish letters from loved ones. I have heard from friends that they have kept my letters and enjoyed revisiting them over the years.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.