How can I stop my family from commenting on my weight?

DEAR ABBY: As a middle-aged slender woman from a family of women struggling with weight, I have endured hurtful comments and microaggressions about my body size since childhood.

My siblings monitor my weight closely and have bullied and excluded me, possibly due to my weight fluctuations of about 10 pounds. When relatives visit, I receive unwelcome comments about my weight, while others in the family are not subjected to the same remarks, making me feel objectified and embarrassed.

I am more than just a body. I am a caring and kind human being who desires acceptance and respect from my family. How can I help them see beyond my body and appreciate me for who I am? I want the hurtful comments to stop. — THIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR THIN: It may be time to have a direct conversation with your relatives. You could say something like:

“For years, I have witnessed your struggles with weight. It has made me feel guilty for being thin. It’s possible that I have a higher metabolism, which is not my fault. I have never commented on your weight, so please refrain from commenting on mine. It’s embarrassing for all of us.”

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DEAR ABBY: My husband has a strong dislike for my special needs sister. He finds her annoying and a bad influence on the kids, even though she does nothing inappropriate. He wants me to cut ties with her completely and transfer her care to the state.

I love my sister, and it pains me that he wants me to choose between them. He accuses me of not caring about his feelings or listening to him.

It seems like your husband lacks empathy for people with disabilities. Do not abandon your sister for his sake. Set boundaries and stand firm before he overwhelms you completely.

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Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, formerly Pauline Phillips, can be contacted at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.