Helicopter Parents: Avoid Hovering Through Preparation

Parents who hover over their teenagers constantly are often referred to as helicopter parents. They are excessively attentive and constantly worried about their child’s well-being.

However, the tendency to become a helicopter parent can be avoided through one simple thing: preparation.

Many parents end up hovering because they fail to plan ahead, forcing them to micromanage and guide their children in real-time. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and panic.

By prioritizing preparation, parents can be present and engaged. The key is to start planning early!

Preparation is Key

I once heard someone say, “Preparation is never lost time.”

This resonated with me, and my family and I began to focus on setting goals and planning for the future. We established yearly family and personal goals, maintained a calendar, set targets to achieve those goals, and regularly reviewed our progress.

While this required effort, it helped us avoid unnecessary stress and fear. By teaching our children the importance of planning, we instilled discipline and goal-setting in them.

Even when our kids went off to college, we stayed connected with them, checking in on their goals and providing support.

Planning ahead and setting the stage for success allowed us to avoid becoming helicopter parents.

Seeking Advice from Others

Preparedness also involves seeking wisdom from others, especially when it comes to planning for your child’s higher education.

As first-generation college graduates and young parents, my spouse and I sought advice from experienced counselors, educators, and parents to navigate the college preparation process.

Here are some questions to consider when seeking advice on planning for your child’s future:

• How can you help your teen transition to adulthood?
• How do you prepare to let go of your teen when they graduate?
• What could you have done differently to prepare your teen for college?
• What advice would you give your younger self about navigating the transition to empty nesters?

Customized Planning for Education

One valuable lesson we learned was the importance of tailoring our plans to each child’s unique needs and interests.

For example, we started preparing our son for college in middle school by enrolling him in enrichment programs, while our daughter began her college preparation in high school.

We found that taking college credit courses, attending academic enhancement programs, visiting college campuses, and participating in summer camps all helped set our children up for success.

By equipping them with the necessary skills and resources, we were able to transition smoothly into the next phase of our lives as empty nesters.

Remember, as Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” So, take the time to plan ahead and avoid unnecessary hovering.