‘Fight for better:’ Survivor speaks out amid holiday spike in intimate-partner violence

If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, call the 24/7 toll-free Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1-866-863-0511, or visit sheltersafe.ca to find an emergency shelter near you. 

For more than two decades, Andrine Johnson spent her everyday masquerading in front of loved ones.

“I played that strong face… because I didn’t want anyone to know,” she said.

Behind closed doors, the teen mother of two at the time says she endured financial, emotional, and physical abuse from multiple partners.

Too scared of what would happen if she called the police on her Black partners, she says she was coerced by her abusers to live in silence.

“It was very heart wrenching. Very fearful. There was just no escape,” she said.

Sometimes, she says, all it took was one word for a situation to escalate.

“I remember getting battered during my pregnancy. I remember getting my head bashed into a wall. Getting kicked.”

Johnson recalls an argument with her partner where she used the word “stupid.” The next thing she remembers is waking up in the hospital with a broken nose.

When she was questioned by concerned doctors and family members, she was prepared with an excuse.

“When they asked me who did it, I lied. I said ‘Oh I got jumped by a bunch of girls.’ ”

Trouble didn’t wind down during the holidays. Johnson would avoid hosting gatherings in her own home to keep her experience of abuse a secret.

“Instead of [my family] coming around to my house, I would go to theirs. You pretend. You play the game,” she said.

After a ‘heart wrenching’ number of years, which included delivering a premature baby girl who later died, Johnson saw her smile had visibly faded.

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Looking in the mirror one day, she had her mind set on a goal that would later become her motivation to flee.

“I want my smile back,” she thought.

Nearly half a decade since she walked away from her last abuser, Johnson sat in her office recounting her story.

As she spoke with a firm and unwavering voice, she thought of other women who don’t dare speak of their abuse at all.

For people who are still living with their abusers, the holidays can sometimes lead to situations that boil over.

“During this time of year, we have seen an increase in calls, an increase in violence,” said Carla Neto, executive director at Women’s Habitat of Etobicoke.

Neto says daily crisis calls to their organization have doubled this December.

There’s also been an influx of women looking to stay at their shelter, which has been full for a while.

Intimate partner violence, Neto says, happens year round. However, more victims happen to report these incidents during the holidays.

Advocates say there’s a number of reasons that come up time and time again.

Financial stress is a big one.

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“We’re hearing from survivors that the increased cost in living is resulting in abusers using the circumstances to manipulate women and coerce them to do certain things in order to get access to financial resources,” said Priya Shastri, director of programs at Woman Abuse Council of Toronto.

That stress could be magnified as a result of expenses such as having to buy gifts.

Societal pressures, like having to host or attend events, could also contribute to the rise in reported violence around the holidays, Shastri said.