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My obese wife can’t keep up with my active lifestyle — should I divorce her?

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My obese wife can't keep up with my active lifestyle — should I divorce her?

DEAR ABBY: After being married for a significant amount of time, I am considering ending the marriage as my wife and I no longer share common interests.

While I am active and enjoy activities such as hiking, biking, golf, and weightlifting, my wife is completely sedentary and uninterested in participating in any physical activities.

This sedentary lifestyle has led to health issues for my wife, making her obese and causing mobility problems. I feel overwhelmed as I end up doing most of the tasks due to her lack of physical activity.

I did not enter into this marriage to become a caretaker for someone who did not take care of themselves.

Recently, I have formed a close bond with a woman who shares my active and healthy lifestyle. We connect on a deeper level beyond just physical activities.

She appreciates my intelligence and career achievements, something I never received support for from my wife. I am tired of feeling like a slave and crave a true partnership. What are your thoughts? — FIT IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIT: It appears that the issues in your marriage existed before you developed a connection with this new woman.

It seems like you have emotionally checked out of the marriage before considering a legal separation.

I recommend speaking with a lawyer and then having an open conversation with your wife about your feelings of not being emotionally supported and wanting to end the marriage to be with someone who aligns more closely with your interests and lifestyle.

Based on your description, it seems unlikely that counseling could save your marriage as you have already emotionally moved on.

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DEAR ABBY: As a single woman in my 60s who enjoys a solitary lifestyle, I have concerns about the possibility of passing away alone in my home.

With serious health issues, I do not anticipate a long life and sometimes go weeks without contact with others. If I were to die alone, it could go unnoticed for a significant period of time.

While I am content with my solitary life and not seeking advice to change it, I am interested in knowing if there are services or devices that could alert someone in the event of my passing while alone. — FLYING SOLO IN TEXAS

DEAR SOLO: Consider setting up a system where your newspaper or mail carrier would notice if deliveries were piling up. There are also apps and services available that provide daily check-ins to ensure your well-being.

One option is the Telephone Reassurance program, often offered by a county’s department of aging and disabilities. Volunteers make daily calls to older or disabled individuals to assist them in remaining independent in their homes.

If this program is not available in your area, reach out to local senior centers, AARP, or the department of senior services for alternative recommendations.

Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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