How can you effectively say no when you truly want to decline?
It’s a challenging task. I, too, struggled with it in the past.
This led to feelings of frustration and anger towards myself and others who asked for favors or help.
Instead of focusing on my own goals, I found myself working on someone else’s and wasting precious time and energy.
Something had to change.
So, a few years ago, I embarked on a journey to learn how to become better at saying no.
Here are 10 of the most valuable tips and strategies I’ve discovered that have made saying no much easier.
1. Remember why you’re saying no.
Before saying no, remind yourself why you are doing so.
Focus on the positive outcomes, such as more time for your family, hobbies, or relaxation, which will reduce your stress levels.
Saying no to certain things allows you to say yes to what truly matters in your life.
This positive mindset will help you stick to your decision, even when it feels difficult.
One way to stay focused on your priorities is to ask yourself, “What are the top 3-5 priorities in my life right now?”
Write them down as a daily reminder to maintain your focus.
2. Kindly disarm before stating your need.
Make it easier for others to accept your no by first expressing your gratitude for their offer.
Be honest about your reasons for declining and explain that you don’t have the time to fulfill their request.
3. Express your feelings about the situation.
If someone is persistent after you’ve said no, use your feelings as a reason for declining.
For example, explain that the offer doesn’t align with your current priorities or that you feel overwhelmed with existing commitments.
4. Offer assistance if possible.
End the conversation on a positive note by recommending someone else who may be better suited to help.
5. It’s okay to feel guilty.
Feeling guilty after saying no is natural, but you don’t have to act on that emotion. Allow yourself to feel it and then let it go.
6. Accept that you can’t please everyone.
Understand that some people will never be satisfied, regardless of your actions. Focus on what you truly want to say yes or no to, rather than trying to please everyone.
7. Boost your self-esteem.
Improving your self-esteem will make it easier to value your time and energy. With better self-esteem, you’ll be less likely to give in to negative persuasion tactics.
8. Remember: you teach people how to treat you.
By asserting yourself and saying no when necessary, you show others how to respect your boundaries. Over time, you’ll encounter fewer situations where people try to push you around.
9. Life will go on.
Declining a request doesn’t mean the world will stop. Others will find alternative solutions, and life will continue for all parties involved.
10. Celebrate your successes.
Even if you can’t say no to everything you’d like, acknowledge the times when you do assert yourself. Focus on your achievements and personal growth, and learn from each experience.
