Advice
14 Overprotective Things To Stop Doing For Your College Student
Letting Go of Your College Student: A Guide for Parents
Sending your teen off to college can be an excruciating experience, filled with the pain of letting go of the countless things you’ve done for them over the past 18 years. While physically separating from them may cause stress and discomfort, it’s the emotional release of control that can be even more challenging yet crucial for their growth and independence.
Recently, a mom in a college parents’ group went to extreme lengths by messaging her daughter’s suitemates with a list of items to bring to the dorm, including toilet paper so they wouldn’t have to walk to the front desk. While this may seem extreme, it highlights the fine line between helping and enabling your college student.
As parents, it’s important to pass on essential life skills to your child before they leave for college, such as doing laundry, managing finances, and advocating for themselves. While it may be tempting to continue to do things for them, it’s essential to step back and allow them to take on adult responsibilities.
Avoid the temptation to make appointments, manage prescriptions, be their alarm clock, contact professors, handle their finances, micromanage their schedules, or intervene in roommate conflicts. By giving your college student the space to learn and grow, you are setting them up for success as they navigate the challenges of adulthood.
Remember, it’s okay to step in during emergencies, but for the most part, it’s time to let go and allow your child to flourish on their own. Trust in the foundation you’ve laid and have confidence in their ability to thrive independently. Prepare for Travel.
Learning how to make travel plans, whether it’s booking a bus or plane ticket and ensuring timely arrival at the terminal or airport, is a crucial skill for the future. This will come in handy during the next family vacation when they can take charge of planning.
Purchase or Order Birth Control.
If they are old enough to engage in sexual activities, they should also be responsible enough to protect themselves. It’s important to have several conversations about this topic.
Replace Lost or Broken Items.
It’s essential for them to take responsibility for items they have lost or broken, such as phones, laptops, or dorm keys. Taking ownership of replacements will teach them to be more careful with their belongings.
Stock Their Bar for Underage Drinking.
Facilitating underage drinking is not a responsible act. It’s crucial to have open and honest conversations about alcohol consumption and not provide alcohol to underage individuals.
Avoid Showing Up Unannounced.
While it may be tempting to surprise them, it’s important to consider their reaction. Tread carefully on unexpected visits to avoid any surprises.
Do Not Attend Parties with Them.
It’s best to avoid attending parties with your college-aged child. Allow them to socialize and make their own decisions in those settings.
Avoid Involvement in Sorority/Fraternity Rush.
While it’s understandable to be somewhat involved if your child is a legacy, it’s important to let them make their own decisions during Rush. Offer advice when asked, but trust them to choose what’s best for them.
Letting go of certain aspects quickly may be challenging, but there are still many ways to support your college student. Listen to them, care for them, offer advice when needed, send care packages, and provide emotional support during this transition period. Remember, giving them independence and self-confidence is the greatest gift you can offer. And rest assured, they will still reach out for advice, even on the little things like how much Advil to take. Please rewrite this sentence for me.
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