20 Life Skills I’m Teaching My Teens

Around a month ago, I sent a text to my 17-year-old daughter while she was out, asking her to swing by the grocery store and pick up some toilet paper. When she handed me the package, you would have thought I had asked her to buy Hamilton tickets with her own money. She dramatically exclaimed, “Do you know how much this cost?” She continued, “It was $13.99 before taxes. Can you Venmo me that amount now?”

While I found her reaction amusing, it made me realize that perhaps it was time to start offering “Adulting” lessons to my daughter and almost 14-year-old son. As parents, we invest a significant amount of effort (and money) into ensuring our kids learn the necessary skills for sports, musical instruments, SAT preparation, and academic success. But do we ever sit down and teach them about managing a household budget?

Do they grasp the concept of credit card interest? Are they aware of how to clean a toilet, sort laundry, and prepare meals?

So, as I replaced the empty toilet paper roll on the wall with none left (mental note: add this to the Adult 101 Syllabus), I decided that this summer would be the perfect time for them to learn the essential skills needed to navigate adulthood. Regardless of their financial status, every teenager should know how to do laundry and clean a shower before graduating high school.

Life skills, aka “Adulting” lessons for teens

The Adulting 101 class will cover a wide range of topics to ensure comprehensive learning. The subjects will include:

• meal planning and preparation,
• learning how to use online bill pay,
• understanding how insurance works (home, car, health),
• cleaning a house properly,
• yard maintenance,
• laundry lessons,
• debt management and prevention,
• budgeting,
• understanding taxes (payroll, local, property, federal).

Soft skills for teens

During the summer, they will also acquire “soft skills,” such as being a considerate roommate. This includes:

• cleaning hair out of the sink,
• clipping nails over a trash can,
• pushing in chairs after getting up,
• not leaving wet towels and dirty clothes on the bathroom floor,
• disposing of empty cereal boxes.

Pop quizzes on adulting

While some adulting skills take a lifetime to master, there will be pop quizzes to ensure understanding, including:

• saying please and thank you when necessary,
• maintaining eye contact during conversations,
• limiting electronic device usage during meals and social interactions,
• showing kindness to strangers,
• being punctual,
• keeping promises.

It is crucial to teach these skills to both boys and girls without any gender bias. My daughter is not too delicate to spread mulch in the flower beds, and my son is not too macho to cook dinner. Both of them need to be capable of taking care of themselves, including knowing when to change the car oil or discard an empty egg carton.

I have witnessed adults who struggled immensely after a divorce or the loss of a spouse because they had divided household chores based on traditional gender roles and were unprepared to handle them under stressful circumstances.

As simple as it may seem, many young people and even older adults face challenges with the daily tasks of adulthood. While many parents want their children to grow up independent and resilient, they often fail to provide them with the skills necessary to achieve that. The best thing we can do is give our kids the opportunity to practice now for what they will need to know in the future.

Full disclosure: It may not be the most enjoyable experience for my husband and me to explain FICA taxes or watch them painstakingly type out the amount due for last month’s water bill on the computer (yes, it is that high in the summer!). However, every moment spent explaining now will prevent future struggles when we are not by their side.

One of my greatest aspirations as a parent is to visit one of my children fifteen years from now and be proud to see that they have grown into well-adjusted and kind individuals. I envision pulling into their driveway, where the garbage cans are not left outside, walking into a kitchen where glasses and plates are not left on the counter, and sitting down to a meal they prepared from a recipe they were excited about. We will share laughter and stories, without anyone reaching for a phone. Later, as I drift off to sleep in a neatly made bed, I will smile, knowing that I may have made mistakes as a parent, but at least I taught them the important things.

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